Wow! July 4th once again — over half of 2009 in the books and time keeps screamin’ like a Koenigsegg hammered by Top Gear’s Stig! The flag’s out, flapping gently in the breeze of a heavily marine-layered sky — was sunny for the early dog walk — and there’s 17-1/2 pounds of brisket in the smoker with only nine hours to go before major chow time. 16 pounds of turkey will hit the Weber kettle in about 4 hours or so — life is good!

A few months ago I thought that I might be giving a Tea Party report today from good ol’ Santa Monica, but looking on the Tea Party site the other day none was scheduled. Probably for the best, as the last one was notable only for the fact that anyone in/around this “People’s Republic” would show up for such a right-wing event — no organized speeches, just a lot of folks wavin’ banners and screechin’ “No More Taxes!” Mostly Ron Paul fans . . .

Sarah Palin announced yesterday that July 25th will be her last day as Governor of Alaska. Crazy that! Or, maybe not. Over at Ace guest writer Russ from Winterset lays out 9 important steps for her to take if this is a prelude to her making a serious run at 2012. After reading much and praying over it The Anchoress thinks that Sarah Palin is declaring her independence and reacts to her announcement with this:

And I suspect Sarah Palin has looked around and decided, no – she is not going to die on that hate-constructed hill. I think she’s going to do her thing, forge her own path by her own lights, and eventually head back into politics on her own damn hill – and with (one fervently hopes) a hum-dinger of a speech-writer.

One of the jobs of a believer -whether Christian or not- is to find meaning in what is going on around and within. I suspect Palin is finding meaning in the abuse she’s been handed. I suspect her interior strength and her interior narrative of faith, family and love of homeland are commingling into a strategy, based on that meaning; a strategy that will be broad in scope, takes the long-view and is played close to the vest.

The Republican Examiner quotes Mark Levin at The Corner in full — hey, I’ll borrow that for you readers:

Palin is running for president, get used to it.

The reason is pretty simple. Sarah Palin loves America. And she knows we are a hair’s breadth from losing much of what we and millions of our countrymen have painstakingly built with sweat and blood over more than two centuries. She knows that Cap and Trade is not just another piece of legislation. It is a hollowpoint bullet aimed straight at the heart of the American economy. She knows that health care reform is designed to, and will, utterly devastate the quality and availability of health care that is currently the best the world has ever known. She knows that American presidents don’t nationalize automakers. Third-world dictators do that.

Sarah Palin has five children. She doesn’t want to subject them to a future of soft tyranny and poverty.

But unlike nearly every other American, Sarah Palin can do something about it. Conservatives know she is the real thing. And so do Liberals. How else to explain the daily, spittle-flecked rage spewed at her and her family? Is there anything about Sarah Palin that is vile, repugnant, or amoral? There is one thing and only one thing driving the Left’s hatred of Sarah Palin: fear. It is the fear that she is the next Reagan, who was viciously attacked in the same way. It is the fear that she will, through her classic American values and sensibility (think Truman), sweep all the rubes in flyover country into a tidal wave of support and decimate Liberal power.

Palin is not your standard politician. She is not Mitt Romney, John McCain, or Mike Huckabee. To judge her by the standard playbook is a fool’s errand. There is no playbook for people like Sarah Palin, just like there was no playbook for Barack Obama. So when you hear folks speculating that her career is over for whatever reason, e.g., she will be seen as a less-than-one-term governor or she doesn’t have enough experience, remember that our side (and the Clintons) said that about our current president. Sarah Palin is the rare politician who can play by her own rules.

So, if you are a conservative and what President Obama is doing to our great country is making you physically and emotionally sick, let’s all keep good thoughts coming for the Sarah Palins of the world — not many like ‘em, that’s for sure!

Happy 4th, folks! Stay safe, eat well, have fun, and may God Bless America!

[H/t: Hot Air]

Folks that read this blog know that here at Okie Manor burnin’ meat is almost a religious experience, but The Bacon Explosion is a mind bender in its own right. Don’t miss the step-by-step instructions with great pics, and be sure and blow up the video to full-screen to watch it being made at a tailgate party.

Hmmm, already did the shop for this week — but next week’s lookin’ pretty good for a trial run.

Lipitor® for everybody!

Technorati Tags: Bacon Explosion

See full-size image at LGFIf you are as curious as I am about how that US Airways‘ Flight 1549 pilot, Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III, was able to make a turn and glide to a splashdown landing in the Hudson River, check out this airliners.net discussion: How Long Does A Jet Glide With No Power?

Who knew? I always thought that jet airliners would drop like a stone without motive power. The caveat is that to maintain the airspeed required for maintaining lift, thereby allowing the bird to continue flying, requires that you exchange altitude for continuing that airspeed. Courtesy of today’s LA Times comes this map/chart of the fated flight. Note, the pilot only had 3,200 ft. of altitude to work with, and lots of skyscraper-dense Manhattan to miss.

• No buildings hit: check!
• No bridges hit: check!
• Perfect water crash landing: check!
• No one killed: check!

Not impossible, obviously. Highly improbable, definitely.

The only word that comes readily to mind is:

Miracle.

Technorati Tags: US Airways, Flight 1549, Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III

Hmmmm, can the Barack Obama campaign try a premeditated, totally jaded and deceptive tactic like handing out signs at their rallies that are intended to look “homemade”, as if those holding them are so enamored with their Messiah candidate they couldn’t help but express themselves for all the world to see?

Yes, they can!

Now, for something completely different!

See Gary Vanerchuck‘s review of four Oklahoma wines, made in Oklahoma from Oklahoma grown grapes. A big surprise awaits the results of a group of community college students and their teacher’s efforts at a Cabernet/Mertiage blend.

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama, Gary Vanerchuck, Oklahoma wines

OK, quick break from politics and general kvetchin’ to catch up a bit on the food blogging. Let’s call this breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. As we like to say around here, Lipitor® for everybody! Let’s start the day off right — Okie Breakfast.

Not really the way “Mom” used to make it, and the cleanup is a snap! Combine nuked bacon with fresh potato slabs, moist egg scramble and stove-top griddled toast, add some blackberry jam and a cup o’ real Kona coffee and you are definitely good to go. Nope, can’t nap yet, lot’s more cookin’ & eatin’ on the schedule so best to get to it!

Next up — Slow Oven Braised Pork Shoulder:

This one’s super easy. Just braise the chunk o’ beast for a good eleven hours in a low oven and voila — pork for days! Pull it apart and add your favorite BBQ sauce for some great sandwiches, or break it all down for chili verde, or just eat ’til ya pop right out of the oven. With 15-pounds of shoulder you really don’t have to choose. That’s pic shows only the half of it! Best part? You don’t even have to chew; This puppy dissolves on your tongue!

Snack time — Beef Sirloin Chili & Beans:

Cube up 10-1/2 pounds of top sirloin, add a ton o’ onions, a bit o’ tomotos and spice it the way you like it and what can ya say? Maybe, where’s the Fritos®?

Let’s wrap this up with a healthy dinner — Oven Poached Salmon in Chardonnay with lemon, capers and herb butter:

This is how it looks going into the oven. You top with a piece of parchment paper and bake at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes; That’s it!

Serve with rice pilaf and you favorite veggie, or combine those two should you feel like it. Reduce what’s left of the wine and juices down into a sauce and pour over the fish and pool on the plate. As Andy Griffith used to say back in the day, “Mmmm, Mmmm, Good!” If’n ya like that sort o’ thing.

Bon Appétit!

CAUTION: No one here at Okie Manor recommends eating all this in a single 24-hour period unless you are a professional athlete, have an LDL of less than 100 or a body fat index below zero; Or better yet, all of the above! Recipes for all these tasty tidbits will be posted over at the Okie Cafe before the weekend is over.

Technorati Tags: Okie Breakfast, Braised Pork Shoulder, Sirloin Chili, Oven Poached Salmon

[Update: SeeDubya just emailed me -- "Heh...your Googlebot is now giving me a huge Mike Huckabee polling ad over ads for squirrel traps." Ya know -- he's right!]

Folks, you’ll have to blame SeeDubya over at Junk Yard Blog for this post! He sent me an email with the link to this YouTube of Mike Huckabee talkin’ with the MSNBC Morning Show folks, and there’s a good bit o’ talk about cookin’ and eatin’ “fried squirrel” — even how he fried em up in a popcorn popper at his college dorm. Sure would smell better than cookin’ up fish in a microwave — but can you imagine the Inaugural Dinner menu? At least, opposed to cousin Eddie’s opinion, it’s not really high in cholesterol . . . “Tastes great, less filling!”

Now, eatin’ squirrel has been discussed before on this blog, most recently here. Looking on the net it seems the “yuck” factor about eating squirrel is kinda high when you get out of the sticks. Hey, I wouldn’t steer you wrong — skillet fried squirrel is pretty darn fine . . . as long as the squirrel is a youngun and it’s been cleaned properly. It also helps if your dad is a good scope-shooter and avoids gut shots. Let’s see what the Missouri Conservationist Online has to say about all that:

Squirrels, if handled and cooked correctly, offer some of the finest wild game eating. However, mention squirrels as a meal and watch how many people wrinkle their noses.

People who frown on squirrels as food can be placed into two groups—those who can’t stomach the thought of eating an animal that’s furry and cute and those who have eaten squirrels but found them less than appetizing. The first group will probably never enjoy eating squirrels. The second can be won over if hunters avoid these mistakes.
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I have eaten squirrels that tasted gamy, though tasted bad is a more accurate description. The squirrels had been shot through the abdominal cavity and poorly cleaned. Any meat will taste bad if allowed to marinate in gut contents and urine, and that is exactly what happens when gut and bladder contents touch the meat, be it squirrel or any other game animal. Typically, gamy taste comes not from the natural flavor of wild meat, but from wild meat tainted through mishandling.

If you accidentally shoot a squirrel through the abdomen, skin the animal and remove its entrails immediately. Then rinse the body cavity with water. Removing the entrails is a fairly easy task. Using the tip of a small, sharp knife, make an incision where the ribs meet the abdomen. Cut toward the animal’s hindquarters, taking care not to puncture the internal organs.

See, a good clean head-shot followed by quick field dressing is key to some fine eatin’. But wait, there’s more:

More squirrels than not are placed on the dinner table with hair clinging to the meat, which is unappetizing to say the least. Skinning squirrels is difficult, regardless of how you go about it, and hair is easily transferred to the meat. My skinning method, however, handles the problem.

1. Dip Squirrel in water. Scrape off fur at base of tail and cut through tail leaving it attached to the back skin.
2. Extend cut up back.
3. Cut around flanks.
4. You can pull the skin off beginning at either end.
5. Here the skin is pulled over the forelegs first.
6. Reverse the squirrel, pull the fur over the hind legs and cut off the head and feet.

Any squirrel hair remaining on the meat can be rinsed off in the sink underneath a gentle stream of running water . . . OK, OK — enough of that.

But hey, if your mouth is waterin’ as much as mine right now, you’ll probably enjoy the links on this blog to a handful of squirrel recipes such as:

Wild Buttery Squirrel
While this concoction of Vodka, Amaretto, Butterscotch Schnapps does not actually contain any squirrel, I recommend that you knock back a few of these before sampling some of the other recipes.

Pork Rind-Crusted Fried Squirrel with Molasses Red-Eye Gravy
Anything encrusted with pork rinds and then deep fried has got to be good.

Squirrel Casserole
Surprise your family this Thanksgiving with a squirrel casserole topped with the traditional Durkee French Fried Onions.

Chicken Fried Squirrel
This recipe leaves out 8 of the Colonel’s herbs and spices to let that squirrel flavor come through.

Squirrel Fricassee
Nothing warms you up on a cold winter day like a warm bowl of squirrel soup. MM…Good!

Squirrel Sorbet
This refreshing treat is the result of that ominous question: What happens when you put a squirrel in a blender?

Just watch out if you run across that squirrelly little guy with the big piece!

Heh!

Technorati Tags: Mike Huckabee, fried squirrel

OK already — I forgot!!! Here is a montage image of our Christmas dinner cooking — Weber kettle style 7-Bone Prime Rib Roast, my Grandma’s Recipe Rolls and a Strawberry Rhubarb Pie.

Here is a pdf version of the roast recipe, you can find out how to make the rolls here, and the pie is still a work in progress, so no recipe from the Okie on this one. It tasted pretty good, but was WET and made the crust mushy.

Once again we got the meat from the hyper-professional meat cutters at our local Bob’s Market who age their own prime cuts. We had over 250 years of carnivore experience over here on Christmas Day, and to each and every one of them, this was the finest piece of meat that any of us had EVER eaten. That includes the Kobe long-bone rib-eye steak that I had at Del Frisco’s in Vegas a year ago November and the Kobe steaks in Taipei at the Athletic Club tepanyaki restaurant. Absolutely incredible! Thanks, Richard — you selected well!

Technorati Tags: 7-Bone Prime Rib Roast, Bob’s Market

  Chef Michael Symon Via the ever appreciated magic of Tivo I got to sit down last night and watch the hour of Sunday’s Next Iron Chef finale in about 36 minutes — Hoot! Hoot! Gotta “luv” Tivo. Out of the two finalists, Louisiana’s 39-year old John Besh and Cleveland’s 38-year old Mike Symon I didn’t actually have a favorite to win, I liked both these guys, so either way would work out for me — as if that meant a hill o’ beans.

According to his bio, Besh is a combat seasoned Marine who came home, married his sweetie, who then worked like the devil to give him the opportunity to follow his dream of becoming a great chef. Owner of four restaurants, acclaimed by the culinary press, active in local civic efforts such as the rebuilding of eating establishments after Katrina, and bester of Iron Chef Mario Batalli in ’06, Besh seems to have that dream firing on all cylinders and in my mind was the favorite to win. Symon’s resume is not quite as full as Besh’s, and he didn’t win his Iron Chef battle in ’05, but he is a successful restaurateur in Cleveland, well respected by the culinary press and is a seasoned TV cooking personality. The secret as they say, must have been in the sauce.

As you have likely guessed by the pic shown at top right, Symon won the final cookoff in Kitchen Stadium and is now the newest American Iron Chef. He won out over the more experienced Besh with a bit more playfulness within his creativity, and I think because of a bit more humble attitude — not discounting that he also didn’t make a swordfish desert, unlike Besh, who took on the challenge from Iron Chef/judge Morimoto to do so — with, to be kind, mixed results. Maybe it was Besh’s catfish truffle early on in the competition that gave him the confidence to play with sweet fish once again, but lightning sure didn’t strike twice in the fish desert category. Yecch!

But Okie, what’s all that got to do with the Presidential primaries? Nothing earth shattering, I’d wager. In the Next Iron Chef competition there were eight contestants, seven guys and one gal, all accomplished in their field, several had competed on the actual Iron Chef show in the past. Most, if not all, have prior TV personality experience. All definitely wanted to win. As the field narrowed, that drive to win just got stronger and stronger. The last two guys standing, seemingly friendly towards each other, really wanted it — and the defeat painfully showed in Besh’s face after his loss, although he was very gracious afterward.

Looking at the POTUS primary races, there are lots of guys, and only one gal, that really, really want to win. At this point, it seems like the will to win overshadows all else, at least in the second tier of the GOP race and throughout the Dems roster. As usual, the donkey party has finally started runnin’ all over the corral, hee hawin’ and kickin’ each other in the head, getting the bloodletting started good and early. It’d be fun to watch if the final outcome of all this weren’t so important.

You see, in the competition to be the next Iron Chef, name recognition, fame (of a sort) and many opportunities to merchandise oneself were at stake. Lots and lots o’ bucks, to be sure. But hey, it’s only a TV show, and none of the other Iron Chefs have gone off the reservation as yet — all still take their restaurant careers seriously. For them, it’s another stepping stone to achieving their life’s ambitions.

Being POTUS pretty much IS the pinnacle of a politico’s life ambition — but why? Why does someone want to be President of the United States? We’ve all got to be glad that someone does, but the psychology behind that desire does need some examination, although a careful look at that is beyond the span of this particular post. From a cursory exam I fear that many of the current crop are like the Robert Redford character in The Candidate and when faced with the reality of being in the general election are gonna be asking themselves, “Wha’ the hell happened?”

Obama IS the Redford character — in the limelight, loved by the media, no experience at all. I don’t know whether to fear that Hillary feels that it always should have been her instead of the philandering spouse that she’s stuck with for her “political” life, or if she’s just desperate to alter the cultural fabric of our society to realize the worst of the ’60s’ jumping off the socialist cliff. Edwards? Trial lawyers give me the heebie jeebies! Too slick by half I say. Why, John? Do you really want all that responsibility, do you really think that you have what it takes to send young men and women off to die? It’s not gonna be the ’90s all over again. There’ll be no partying like it’s 1999 on the next president’s watch. I can’t see how the next eight years won’t be more blood-soaked than the last. Iran, Korea, Darfur, Somalia — the list seems to grow by the day. The rest of the Dem field — who cares?

Rudy? He took on New York City, probably wants some more of that ultimate being in control. Romney, same as Rudy except as a governor and business leader — cue the leader bit big time for both of these guys. Fred? Plays a great attorney on TV, has a great voice — sounds like everybody’s idea of Papa. Why would he want to be POTUS this late in life, with what it does to everyone physically and mentally? Go figure. Same on that for McCain. The rest — who cares?

I’m not being flip about this — I truly want to know the “why”. Our next president most likely will be called to “greatness”, not just to be competent or an efficient manager. How many CEOs or Senators do you know that you’d be comfortable with prosecuting the 21st Century’s first world war? Which of the current crop of candidates has the philosophy and the will to ensure our safety in light of today’s threats? Which of these will lead instead of kowtowing to their base? Being POTUS is a real pup! Only someone with a committed sense of service to their countrymen are worthy of consideration. But, which one is it?

Too bad they can’t just lay out their goods, like an Iron Chef, for tasting and judgement. Too bad their intents aren’t as easy to ascertain and evaluate as a basil foam over a swordfish mousse. Too bad their skill levels in all things POTUS aren’t as readily apparent as that of a well seared piece of meat.

I might not have cared which of the two competitors became the next Iron Chef, but you can bet your left glute that I’ll be of a different mind come the primary and general election days next year. Those I’ll care about — oh you betcha!

Chris Muir’s Day by Day Cartoon

And here’s one folks that warms the cockles of this little ol’ okie’s heart, or maybe make that stomach. A top British restaurant has squirrel on the menu, Peking duck-style squirrel pancakes to be exact! Yowza! Sign me up.

A top restaurant is serving up free grey squirrel pancakes to hungry diners.

Peking duck-style squirrel wraps are being offered to diners at The Famous Wild Boar Hotel.

The restaurant at Crook, near Windermere, in Cumbria, is giving diners the chance to try the canapes free of charge.

Oh, come on now, don’t be crybabies. They’re trapping the little grey squirrely critters because they are somehow causing the demise of their cousins, the red squirrels, and something needs to be done with the thousands that are being caught. For my taste, battered and fried then served up with some biscuits and squirrel gravy would be the ideal way to go. Mom’s favorite breakfast to be precise. As a kid I used to use the flat scapula bone as a spoon to scoop up all the tasty gravy. Ah . . . such sweet memories!

Bon Appétit!

Technorati Tags: Peking duck-style squirrel

Man can’t live on the news that the data Global Warming Alarmists have been touting as proof our planets gonna fry us all is pure crap alone, so here at Okie Manor we’re gonna take a short break to discuss some sublime sustenance. BTW, here is the new data set for your perusal, after which you shouldn’t lose any sleep that’s for sure. But, on to more tasty musings, and to expanding the Okie’s carbon footprint exponentially with this recipe for Cedar Plank Salmon.

First, although this should be a given, pick out the freshest, best quality skin-on fish that you can find, preferably at your local fish monger. We are super fortunate to have Santa Monica Fish Company not all that far away, and a most recent surprise is that our local independent Bob’s Market has a small, but of supreme quality, selection of fish in their meats department — and at great prices, too. Wild is preferable to farm raised — for best texture and flavor — but use what you can get. Supermarket fish will work, especially if they are running seasonal specials like Copper River Salmon, but just be mindful of freshness. If it smells quite fishy, punt, and grill up some burgers instead. Fish should smell like the ocean, or not smell at all.

Second, you’ll need to find some cedar planks. A lot of markets (Vons & Safeway for two) have them now, at least out here in SoCal. Bar-B-Ques Galore has both cedar and alder, OSH has cedar and maple. You can even find them online if not anywhere else. Be prepared to use a plank per cooking session as they will char heavily on the bottom over a charcoal fire. Soak the plank in warm water for at least 1/2 hour, 1-hour is more like it — you want to cook the fish, not incinerate it.

Start your charcoal, or preheat your gas grill. Prepping the fish won’t take much time, so have an iced tea or somethin’ before you start with that. Enjoy yourself ’cause this is fun, and if you’re gonna serve this to some guests, that’s gonna be a lot of fun too ’cause this salmon is heaven on a plate.

Rinse you salmon thoroughly and make sure no pin bones have been missed. Nothin’ like gettin’ a bone to put folks off likin’ fish! Season it well on both the skin and cut sides — we use Paul Prudhomme’s Seafood Magic but any good Cajun seasoning would work well. Simple so far, huh?

Remove your plank from the water and rinse — leave wet. Take some gourmet-quality olive oil spray, we use the one from Trader Joes, and mist the top of the plank. Place the fish in the center, skin side down. Cut some thin lemon slices and arrange on top of the fish, then spray well with the olive oil. The TJ aerosol foams up the oil keeping it in place. I then give it a generous coating of fresh ground pepper. That’s it, you’re done and ready to grill.

Spread out the coals evenly and give the grate a minute or two to heat up. Then place the plank in the middle of the grill and drop the lid. Plan to start checking the temp in about 10 minutes or so. You’ll hear the cedar start to pop and crackle — don’t mind that. You’ll start to smell it, too. You’ll like that! At the 10-minute mark I take a peek. As soon as the top of the fish and the lemons are caramelizing around the edges I use an instant read thermometer and start checking the temp in the thickest part of the fish. As soon as I see 120 degrees F., using two metal spatulas I lift the plank off the grill and onto a sheet pan with a wetted paper towel in it. The plank will steam and sizzle as it hits the water. This will put out any live coals on the bottom of it and keep your smoke detector from going off inside the house.

To serve, cut the size piece you want and using a spatula, lift the fish off the skin. We usually have some rice pilaf and asparagus or sauteed spinach to go along with it. A good tartar sauce works for me, but not for all.

Variations? Well, the first time we encountered this dish was at the rooftop restaurant of the Hollywood Bowl. Individual servings came on top of their own little planks. Some stores sell these smaller pieces if you want to make a stunning presentation. What I like about doing it in smaller sections is that you get a lot more tasty-caramelized crusties per piece that way. So I just cut the fish into servings before cooking and leave a bit o’ space between ‘em on the plank, like this.

Another variation that we like a LOT is using Tasmanian Trout (A member of the char family, red meat like salmon but much milder and much more buttery texture) on the alder wood. This is a fantastic combination — right now our favorite fish by far! You can also ditch the Cajun seasoning, lemon and olive oil and replace that with salt, pepper and maple syrup glaze — my personal favorite on the Salmon.

Bon appetite!

[For anyone interested in seeing the entire (although small right now) collection of Okie's food posts, a new food blog has been created called -- Okie Cafe. Enjoy!]

Technorati Tags: Cedar Plank Salmon, Copper River Salmon, Cajun seasoning, Tasmanian Trout

It’s been a very long time since ol’ ‘Okie’ partook of a plate piled high with mountain oysters, more commonly known as bull testicles. Actually, Mom would slice them into strips, batter ‘em up real good and deep fry ‘em. As they say on the Campbell soup commercials — “Ooo Mmm Good!”

Blogger and Townhall.com columnist Phil Harris recently found himself in South Bend, Nebraska sitting before his own plate of testicular gastronomy and found that he was contemplating a lot more than chewin’ through a stack of bull balls.

A group composed of a few friends and family members embarked on a bizarre adventure the other day. It was one of those moments in time, when one’s life teeters precariously on a fence. One side represents the expected evolution of time and maturity, while deep emotional scars lie on the other, waiting to pounce upon sanity with merciless fury.

Indeed, like foolish children who are mesmerized by the piper’s song, we made our way to South Bend, Nebraska and the annual Testicle Festival. I have long heard stories of this insane practice, and being unaware of any testicle induced fatalities, curiosity got the best of me. I ordered a basket of deep fried testicles, and I ate them.
{…}
Of course, there are obvious lessons to be drawn from this experience, considering the herd of political animals that dream of grabbing the reigns of power in 2008. I mean certainly, I cannot be the only one who thinks “politician” when he hears the word testicles.
{…}
Be that as it may, I am afraid that a serious testicle shortage exists in the nation’s beltway. After all, one might assume that a healthy, normal dose of testosterone would cause this powerful nation’s leaders to clinch their teeth in a fighting rage, as terrorists and other homicidal maniacs blow up our troops and innocent Iraqi citizens. Instead, we have witnessed the neutering of our congressional delegations as they cower in retreat; handing the devil’s minions the predictable victory they designed.

Just ’cause you got ‘em, don’t mean you’ve got a clue as how to use ‘em. Silky Pony is a prime example. Whether the winner in ’08 actually possesses a set or just has a healthy dose of testicular fortitude one thing is certain — he/she will be severely tested by those that wish us great harm. God help us all if our next president is found out a neuter.

Technorati Tags: Rocky Mountain Oysters, South Bend, Silky Pony

My Mother’s mother’s yeasty rolls — Mmmmmm, yummy!

One of my fondest memories was going to Oilton for the holidays and gettin’ to eat my Grandma’s bread and especially her yeasty rolls. The dough was the same for both of them as far as I know, but the way the rolls cooked up, not doughy but still super tender in the center, with a soft, brown scrumptious crust — tear em’ open and slather on the butter or margarine and man . . . you couldn’t eat enough of them fast enough. You’d see the uncs and cousins with plates full ‘o food, with 3 or 4 of these bad boys piled on top. I can still taste them in my mind.

Actually, I can just go to the kitchen and taste one for real, ’cause over the past couple of years I finally “got it” — both the taste and the texture of Grandma’s rolls. The journey was long, but not arduous, unless eatin’ you way through batches and batches of homemade rolls and breads is too much for ya. We decided that we could rise to the challenge, although “expand” to the challenge might be more like it. Regardless, if the accolades that keep being heaped on these is any indication, it was worth all the previous agonies of the many defeats.

Now, I wouldn’t be a very nice guy, and sometimes I’m not — huh, Big Al? — if’n I didn’t share the secret of these Okie’s Grandma’s rolls, so here goes.

Okie’s Grandma’s Yeasty Rolls

3 – Cups bleached all-purpose flour (not self-rising)
1 – Cup hot tap water
3/8 – Cup light brown sugar
3 – Tablespoons light olive oil
1 – teaspoon salt
1 – Egg
1 – Package fast-rise yeast

Here’s the crazy part. My wrists are just not up to kneading bread anymore. After years of kneading clay for making pottery and twisting wrenches, sketching with pens and markers and running a mouse and pounding on a keyboard — not to mention making loaves and loaves of bread — they’re Kaput. So, I’ve tried using the Cuisinart, and the Kitchenaid with a dough hook, but both overprocess this dough and give a more dense texture than Grandma’s rolls ever had. I seemed to remember that Mom said that her mother would let them rise only twice, but like I said, I can’t do this by hand anymore.

Enter the magic “bread machine” — a ten/twelve year-old one-pound capacity “The Bread Machine” by Welbilt (no longer being made ). I would assume that any one-pound “vertical” oriented loaf machine would work. Just choose the dough cycle.

To get the best and fastest rise, put the water in first, then the sugar and yeast, then the flour and all the rest, turn it on and go blog or watch Fox News for an hour & a half. Have two 8″ pie pans sprayed with Pam butter flavored spray. Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface and sprinkle with just a little flour. I take a chefs knife and cut the mass into two parts, then each of those in two again, with all smaller balls spit into threes. That gives you twelve rolls per pan. Just stretch the dough balls over and onto themselves a few times and pinch the ragged edges together at the bottom. I get the center three set up and then the rest get spaced evenly around the edge of the pan.

With the over preheating to 400 degrees, I place the pans onto those back two burners and cover with clean paper towels. Every ten minutes or so I rotate them 180 and sometimes switch the pans from side to side to keep the rise as even as possible (the oven vents more to the right, so that side’s pan rises faster than the other one.) I let them rise a lot, ’til they’re domed nicely and pushin’ up those paper towels pretty good. This takes some practice (like you’ll mind eatin’ the rejects or somethin’) but just about the time I think they’re gonna over-rise, I mist them real good with clean water — helps build a good crust — and then get ‘em in the oven. It sure doesn’t take long before you start smellin’ somethin’ good!

I set the timer for 10 minutes, and check them through the window often. Depending upon outside temps, they’re usually plenty done in ten-to-twelve. Gotta check the bottoms sometimes to make sure they’re all browned an’ all, but since I’ve started using a pair of medium-dark gray silicone coated pans, the bottoms have browned at the same time as the tops. Cool!

When they’re done, de-pan onto a cooling rack or grid and go over the tops with a stick of butter just enough to make ‘em shiny. That also softens the crust and keeps it tender, not crunchy. These are Grandma’s rolls, not the Kaiser’s.

The hardest part is not eating ALL of them at this stage, all fresh out of the oven — all hot an steamy — all ready to tear open, butter up and eat ‘em like a big dog! But, adulthood is chock full o’ self control situations, and this certainly is one o’ those. Channel your inner Atkins, Okie — you can always make more tomorrow . . .

By the way, you don’t have to have one of those show kitchens to cook like we do here at Okie Manor. As you can see, it’s more like a small boat’s galley than a kitchen. We just happen to be makin’ Thanksgiving dinner today, in July, but the “reason” for this is another post for another time — Bon Appétit!

We’re serious about our food here at the ol’ Okie Manor — foodies all we are, that’s for sure-&-a-half. We’re known to have watched the Food Network more than a time or two, and for doing really weird holiday events like makin’ up a Turducken for Super Bowl Sunday eatin’. Mmmmm . . . good! Yesterday however, a new bar was set for meats — San Antonio style “long bone rib eye steaks“!

Now, truth to be told, with a kettle grill only 22″ in diameter, we couldn’t use the full 26″ long rib bone of a complete rib roast section, so we were limited to about 16″ in overall length. Nobody seemed to miss that extra 10″ of caramelized bone, at least no one felt it necessary to complain.

Our buddy, Woody, went on a mission to find these cuts, and true to form our local Bob’s Market butcher, Richard, came through again. From a 40-pound primal section they cut a full 7-bone roast down into 7 individual steaks. After the Woodman got through trimmin’ ‘em all up nice an’ pretty, there was just over 20-pounds of meat to season all up and put on the grill.

Mercy sakes alive, those are 2-1/2 to 3 pounders just a searin’ and a smokin’ away. If that don’t make your mouth all wet — you just ain’t a carnivore!

Seriously, we were stressin’ over how long to keep those bad boys on the heat. I was convinced that we should sear them and then finish in the oven. Somehow, 6-7 minutes on a side, with a rest of 20 minutes or so under foil brought them to the table right at medium rare.

I made my grandmother’s signature rolls — yeah, all you family Okies, email me and I’ll send you the recipe — along with a combination of escalloped and lyonnaise style potatoes. The potatoes tasted good, but need more work. Just to clarify this a bit, no one sat down to a complete one of these monsters and put it away — we love to eat but we aren’t suicidal! These were platters served for two, and everyone still ended up taking food home.

However, if someone had decided to polish one off to the bone, this is how we would want to see the plate — empty!

And, if you really are a meat lover, you know that the sweetest meat is closest to the bone — gnawing of the bones is highly encouraged around here.

Until Labor Day . . .

Technorati Tags: Turducken, long bone rib eye steaks, Bob’s Market

In my last post I alluded to this dish that I fixed the other night. It was the first time I have ever baked anything in a parchment paper wrap, a technique called “en Papillote” — it won’t be the last.

Here is Mr. Striped Bass — all gutted and cleaned, ready to rock & roll!

And here it is on the parchment paper, all dressed out with white & wild rice, fresh tomatoes, yellow bell pepper, artichoke crowns, sliced shitaki mushrooms, sweet Maui onion, Chinese snow peas and lemon. Next you pour on about 1/4 cup of good white wine, Chardonnay in this case, and dot with 1/4 stick of sweet cream butter slices.

Here it is all nice and wrapped up, ready for the oven. Note the butter slices just under the parchment paper — yummmmm! — also the staples used to keep the wrap secure.

All cooked in just about 30 minutes, with nothing to do but watch the clock.

Here we go, all open and lookin’ goooooood! And man, does the place smell great! Pan cleanup is a snap — just wad up the parchment paper and toss it & you’re done!

The skin slides right off, and with a spoon and a spatula you can fillet the meat right off the bones — watch out for the pin bones around the belly and fin areas. Those fin attachment bones are pretty big and good for some outstanding bone meat. Slurp it off and grin from ear-to-ear! Arrange your plate, add some asparagus, drizzle with some melted butter, good olive oil, a dressing or whatever you pleasure and you got yourself some mighty good eatin’!

As Emeril Lagasse is so fond of sayin’, at Okie Central “We’re really cookin’ here!”

Bon Appetite!

Technorati Tags: en Papillote, Striped Bass

After spending 45 minutes getting a boneless pork shoulder braising in the oven (I know, I know — bone-in would be better, but . . .) all powered up with onions, sweet onions, 20-30 cloves of garlic, celery, parsnips & carrots sautéed with the fond from browning the shoulder plus a cap full of hickory smoke and then all dusted down with my special outdoor pork rub, I decided to go on the Net and look for a recipe for some high-rise Cajun biscuits. I haven’t run across those as yet, but I did stumble across a really cool cooking blog — MeatHenge.

From the last post about pork chops simmered in milk (cool!) to crusty mac & cheese I think this ol’ Okie had better keep an eye on this guy. Can’t have him eatin’ all the good stuff by himself. Finally, something good coming out of San Francisco . . . Heh! (db)

Technorati Tags: Cooking Blogs, Cyberbilly, MeatHenge, Braised Pork Shoulder

[Captain's Quarters is live blogging the Superbowl, check it out!]

I’ve added a new category for sorting posts today, Culinary Delight, because if I’m not working, blogging, puttin’ the “pedal-to-the-metal” in the B’ville or watching FOXNews, I’m most likely at the smoker, Webber kettle, range top or oven working on a tasty gastronomical creation that will bring another reprimand from my cardiologist!

Today that happens to be a Turducken. “Say what?”, you say. Turducken! A boneless turkey stuffed with a boneless duck and a boneless chicken, with each layer separated by a different flavor of dressing. In today’s monstrosity, we have two ducks, I guess ’cause if one duck’s good, two’s better . . . Whatever.

Our cookin’ buddy likes to do these, and the first one was on Superbowl Sunday three years ago and it was sooooooo goooood that we have made it a tradition. If you ever watched John Madden call a game on Thanksgiving Day, you know about turduckens. If not, here is a clue from the step-by-step recipe from BlackTable.com: (Caution, some profanity on the site)

Turducken is a dish, usually served around the holidays, that is made by cramming a boneless chicken into a boneless duck, which is stuffed into a boneless turkey. Three kinds of stuffing are layered between the three kinds of meat and the monstrosity is cooked for a very long time. The end result, when cut, is a fantastic food rainbow that must be eaten to be believed.

But the road to Turducken is not a short one. The dish isn’t found on many take-out menus, isn’t sold in the frozen foods section at the local supermarket and must be made at home, for the most part. The entire process will take you two full days, leave you covered in blood and guts and cost more than $100. This turducken is the ultimate test of the primal desire to feed, requiring baking, boiling, broiling, butchering, sauteeing, chopping, stirring, sifting and even sewing, but once you’re seated with a plate and fork you will understand.

So that’s our meme for today, and later updates will include pics. I hear stuff banging in the kitchen, gotta get the digital and start shooting!

[Update] Pregame ceremony honoring WWII veterans includes tributes to the 101st Airborne, the Tuskegee Airmen, the Marines that stormed Iwo Jima and the Waves. Here are some shots I got off the tube:

What a difference a year makes! Last year it was debauchery and sleaze, this year it’s honoring those that make a day like this possible. Dare we say there might be hope for us yet?

The Anchoress puts her two cents and more in with a discussion on last year’s half-time show, and why you are not a “bilious and unsophisticated bumpkin” if you were offended by Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction”.

Stay tuned for more on the “turducken”, cause it’s made it into the oven!

[Update] Here is how we got the darn thing prepped and cookin’!

Here’s how to handle a 22 lb. deboned turkey!

Ready for the first dressing layer.

Traditional bread dressing with (pre-cooked) duck sections on top.

Applying the cornbread dressing on top of the duck.

Chicken sections (pre-cooked) laid out on top, ready for last dressing layer.

Mushroom dressing layer, similar to duxelle.

The easy way to pull it all together.

Closin’ up that bad boy but good!

Don’t spare the butter — we sure don’t!

Ready for the oven! Oh, you betcha!

We never do these things the same way. This year our bud pre-cooked the chicken and the duck to bring down the overall fat content and speed up the final cooking. We’ll see. Also, the dressings are different every year. Next update will be the cooked bird.

[Update] Here’s the finale:

The turducken, ready to carve.

The makin’s of a great gravy!

The first longitudinal cut.

Slicin’ up the servings.

Slice of turducken & garlic-mashed potatoes smothered in turducken gravy with a side of almond green beans sauted in butter — a plate to die for. Hope all of you had a great day and enjoyed the game! (db)